Advice to the Boss

Advice to the boss on how to enhance our working relationship

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it’s really a ‘rush job’, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where your going. It gives me the chance to be creative when somebody asks me where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to be more independent and do without any help, which is why I work here..

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority. Let me guess. It builds management skills and my inate ability of mind reading.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and I really have nowhere to go and nothing else to do. My life is yours.

7. If a job pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.

8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

9. If you have any special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done, or better yet until it is done, so I can learn repetitive perfection doing it your way.

10. Never introduce me to people you’re with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone else is less fortunate.

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