What engineers say and what they really mean

  1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.
  2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
  3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame.
  4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
  5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
  6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
  7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
  8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only person who understood the thing quit.
  9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
  10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
  11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread responsibility for the screw up
  12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what
    we’ve already done.
  13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this BS!
  14. SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come into my office, I’m lonely.
  15. ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
  16. RUGGED – Too damn heavy to lift!
  17. LIGHTWEIGHT – Lighter than RUGGED.
  18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – One finally worked.
  19. ENERGY SAVING – Achieved when the power switch is off.
  20. LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if broken.

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