You Know It Is August in Texas When…

…the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground;

…the trees are whistling for the dogs;

…the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance;

…hot water now comes out of both taps;

…you can make sun tea instantly;

…you learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron;

…the temperature drops below 95°F (35°C) and you feel a little chilly;

…it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car;

…you discover that you can get sunburned through your clothes;

…you actually burn your hand opening the car door;

…you break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

…your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”

…you realize that asphalt has a liquid state;

…potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper;

…farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs;

…the cows are giving evaporated milk;

…you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water;

…you eat hot peppers to cool off;


…kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is outside.

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